


Drunken Texting can be a good thing

by Wolf_Of_Westeros



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, game of thrones
Genre: (Hopefully) Humourous, Drunk jaime, F/M, Friends to Lovers, just felt like writing, texts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-09 18:13:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3259505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf_Of_Westeros/pseuds/Wolf_Of_Westeros
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few months after Jamie and Cersei's break up, Jaime decides he no longer needs her, but another is in his life he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Denial

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I've not posted anything in a while and I felt like writing today so hi 

After Jaime had broken up with his sister he had been a wreck. He slept all day and drunk all night. He flirted but never actually acted and was slowly pouring his life away. Then came Brienne. She was a new apprentice he had hired a couple of years ago who worked her way up the chain to become his PA, and she had forced him back into a brutal routine with her stubborn, relentless pestering and forceful attitudes. She got him off alcohol, made him exercise everyday (he refused to do it in the morning, "I am not going to be one of those 5am joggers wench") and stopped him feeling so bleeding useless with this fake hand. At first he resisted every step of the way, and he hated her. He insulted her, tricked her and annoyed her to the point where most left, but she stuck through. Now she was his best friend, his rock, his equal. 

"Oh go fuck yourself you little cretin" Jaime snapped at his little brother, snarling and trying to avoid having to look at him.

"You know it's true Jaime..." Tyrion was grinning sadistically, enjoying watching his brother squirm in awkwardness.

"It is not true, just some stupid fanciful tale you indulge on" he took a sip of his drink, hating on Tyrion. 

"Oh it is, I know this for a fact" 

"Oh do you now? And by what greater power do you possess that us mere mortals have no idea of?" Sarcasm was his defence.

"The way you look at her, the way you speak of her. Your eyes cloud over and a small smirk appears on your face as you look off into the abyss of Brienne" he chuckled malevolently, oh how he enjoyed this. Jaime scowled, his fingers digging into his palms.

"You are a vile creature" he states finding a very interesting cuticle to pick at. Tyrion laughs, leaning back in his chair and smirking happily.

"Mhmm" he chuckles again and takes a swig from his almost empty pint glass. Jaime frowns, taking a sip from his own. It was Tyrions birthday, so Brienne said he could go out and get as drunk as he liked as long as he turned up for work tomorrow... Damn Monday.

"You infuriate me serverly..."

"Only because you know I speak the truth" he grins as Jaime throws a rolled up tinfoil ball at him. Scowling. Tyrion laughs.

"I need to get you drunk enough to accept it" he raises his glass in the air "To love, To Brienne and mostly to me!" He laughs happily and gulps down his beer. Jaime shakes his head but laughs with him, To Brienne...

\----------------------------------------***************-----------------------------------------

" 'e was a jolly good fellow..." Jaime slurred, his tenth pint sloshing in the air as he attempted to sway.

"Jolly indeed, though I doubt he got much" Tyrion commented from the floor his pint poured down him. Jaime laughed with a drunken giggle as he reached down for his little brother and dragged him to a table

"Beer is good... Yum" Jaime rubbed his stomach and drank, finishing the pint. He belched loudly and collapsed into a fit of giggles. Tyrion joined him. Both full grown men sat there in hysterical laughter. Tyrion suddenly went very serious, well serious as a drunk can be.

"Jaime... I think you need to step up... Mhmm" he nodded earnestly

"What'cha mean?"

"With Brienne... Y-You like her. And you need to step up." 

"Noooooooo... No... She do.. Don't like m-me... I am... Friend... And boss" he paused for a hiccup "I would get a big punch right here..." He pointed to his cheek.

"But she might!" Tyrion insisted "She might like you and you could, like go and tell her... And you two could be in love... And have babies and be married and stuff!" He grinned at his absolutely fool proof plan.

"No...nooo" Jaime shook his head sadly "I am sad but she doesn't like me..." He sighs in a drunken way falling back in his chair. " I love her... S-She is amazing. 'He helped me a lot *hiccup* and when she looks at me with a s-s-smile in her eyes I want to tell her but I am scared she will reject me so I stay quiet" he puts his finger on his lips and Tyrion does the same. 

"But we have to tell her! It the only... Chance of goodness and humility in the world!!" Tyrion pointed at Jaimes phone "Use the power that has been given to us! Text her!" Jaime nods and begins to finger out his texts.


	2. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne gets some rather... Strange texts off Jamie. Stupid drunken texting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Thank you for reading :D  
> -Wolf

Brienne was lounging about on her bed, thinking about the paperwork she had to do in the morning when "Fast Fuse" by Kasabian blasted its way into her life. 

"What the hell, 3:47 in the morning and he's texting me..." She sighs he better had not be drunk.

From Jaime (3:47 am): Helko wencj, itrs Jaiume. Tyrrion said thts I shoilud txt u 

She just about to reply when another came through 

From Jaime (3:48 am): sorrrt I preesed send by acidnt. I ment 2 say tht Tyron saidd I suld tel u so we cn bee in lov and hav bebes and bee marred.

Brienne laughed at his amazing spelling, it was worst than usual but he was dyslexic and drunk so she couldn't blame him. His last text sent a small smirk of pleasure to her face but she ignored it as drunken mistake.

From Wench (3:49 am): Jaime, you're drunk, I think you should go to bed. You are up in 3 hours, and tell me what? 

She couldn't help it she was curious, and slightly hopeful

From Jaime (3:52 am): im nt tht drnk just tipy. Not tird. Ad fck wrk it is esense of Al evil. Morings are 2. and tell u tht scknaqcdjobwdvkbjecwnkwefldvwwd

Brienne laughed but was slightly annoyed underneath, damn whatever that was.

From Jaime (3:55am): hey brenne it's tyrion. My bro is 2 drunk 2 realise what he was abut 2 tell u neds 2 be said in prson nt by txt. I sad 2 tel u 2moz but he is v anxious for u 2 no now... Is tht ok

From Brienne (3:56 am): Yes, that's fines Tyrion. It can't be that important.

From Jaime (3:58 am): tis v important brienne it's jaime agen. I wantd 2 tel u tht I love u and I hav 4 ages... But nvr had curage enouf but know I do. It's nt cos I'm drnk ask m tomrrw and I wil say yes! 

Brienne was astonished. Did Jaime just tell me he loved me? She scrabbled around for thoughts. She had long dreamed of them words being said to her by Jaime... But he was drunk... She sighed.

From Brienne (3:59 am): Jaime your drunk, I will show this tomorrow and you will laugh and brush it off. I'll see you tomorrow.

She threw her phone down and tried to think of that paperwork she had to do. About 5 texts came through, but she refused to look at them... Until her curiosity had the better of her.

From Jaime (4:00 am): Brieenne! I do luv u! Lots n lots an lots! Like how a mum lugs a dad and I wan 2 hug u n kis u... But tyrn says no 2 cum an see u cos I am druk 

From Jaime (4:02 am): Brienne pleese I am nt jokng i luv u 

From Jaime (4:09 am): BrIENnE dnt ignor me! I luv u don't u luv m! 

From Jame (4:11 am): :( I thout u wuld tyr said u wood... Do u nt beleev me? I wil sowt it 2 evy1 

From Jaime (4:21 am): I got kiked fom bar cos i sowted tht I luved u n I waz beIn 2 lowd. I am goin 2 sleep now n I will talk 2 u toomrrw nighjt Brienne swet drems luv u lots xccxxcxxcx 

She smiled softly at these texts, hoping they were not some drunken phrase. She laughed and hoped she would get "swet drems" stroked the background to her phone, her and Jaime hugging at the park. "I'll speak to you tomorrow then..." She rolled over and tried to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again, oh to soon. Sorry my paras are really short but I am not one for writing loads xD


	3. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the next day, Jaime has a massive headache and doesn't remember what happened but Brienne does...

As Jaime woke up from his heavy drunken sleep, the light burnt through his retinas. What the... Shit I forgot to turn off the lights. Jaime groaned hiding himself under his blankets. He hoped with sheer will power he would be able to turn of the light. No such luck. He groaned as he felt his stomach turned. Shit. He ran towards his bathroom, getting there just in time he emptied his stomach into the toilet. What happened last night? Lots of beer, and dancing and... He's a jolly good fellow? Was Brienne there... His train of thought was interrupted by another round of throwing up. He groaned, resting his head on the toilet seat, wishing he had never drunk alcohol. 

After about ten minutes of puking he finally made it to his bed, with the wash bucket in hand. He buries himself in his blanket hiding from any source of noise. The telephone starts to ring in his living room. He ignores it, turns over and try's to sleep.

\------------------------------------*******************---------------------------------------

The next time Jaime woke was to a loud banging at his door, he whimpered and curled into a ball, the banging on the door perfectly in sync with the banging in his head. He ignored it for as long as he could.

"Jaime! Open up you drunken fool!" Shit. It was Brienne. He didn't want her to see him like this, despite that fact she already had but now he loved her... Wait, what? He loved her? He loved her. He loved her! He grinned, then winced as his headache pounded against his temples, celebrate later he told himself. He got up very slowly. More banging.

"JAIME! Open this door!" He crept towards the door slowly and quietly. More banging. 

"I'm coming!" He shouted, wincing painfully at the sound of his own voice. The banging on the door ceased, though not the banging in his head. He opened the door and peaked round it. "Hey Brienne... What's the matter" he whispered. She barged past him into his house then spun around to scowl at him.

"You were meant to come into work today Jaime!" She frowned at him, her hands on her hips, fury in those deep sapphire eyes. Despite her anger he found her extremely attractive, he just wanted to kiss her, hold her... 

"I have been being sick all day and have the worst headache... I am in no state to work..." He tried to explain, she just scowled.

"No Jaime it's nothing to do with that... You just couldn't be arsed coming into day! Because you are hungover!" He looked at the floor, hating the disappointment in her face.

"I'm sorry Brienne..." He whispers, still looking at the floor. She sighs, put her arm around him and leads him to his room.

"Come on Jaime you need to sleep" he rests his head on her shoulder as he hobbles to his room. Brienne closes the curtains and turns off the lights. Leading him to his bed, she tucks him in, then sits on the side of his bed. He sighs softly, wincing at his head ache. Brienne pushes a hair from his face and he grabs her hand. It was lovely and warm against his cheek, he moaned with content as he rolled into his side, keeping her hand against his cheek. He falls asleep with her hand like that, leaving Briene with a dilemma.

\------------------------------------*****************-------------------------------

Brienne was shocked when Jaime took hold of her hand and was temporary stunned, but after the first half hour of his snoring the virtue had slightly worn off. She was sat there, in pure darkness while Jamie drooled over her poor hand... What had it ever done? She signed, crossing her legs and yawning. She decided she did not want to sit there anymore. She got onto the floor, on her knees her face inches from Jaimes as she supports his sleeping head with her other hand. She pushes it slightly to lift it, slowly sliding her hand out. She places his head back on the pillow thinking she was home free when, in his dream state grabbed her hand and replaced it this time with his hand around her wrist. 

"Oh for fucks sake Jaime" she whispers loudly. She positions herself on the bed, all but lying on it. She sighs and sits there, counting the swirls on his ceiling before she slowly dozes of herself.

\-------------------------------------*****************----------------------------------------- 

When Jaime had awoke, his headache and nausea had subsided to the point of being bearable. He lifted his head with a slight wince and yawned, he pulled Briennes hand closer to him. Wait. Briennes hand? Yes it was briennes hand. He followed the arm down to see her curled into a ball with her head rested on his stomach sleeping soundly. He smiles softly, yawning again. He decided he did not want to sleep but sit there, being able to feel Brienne's warm head pressing onto his stomach. 

He tried to remember last night, he remembers drinking a lot. And Tyrion being on the floor... That happened several times. He remembers Tyrion and another girl... He couldn't remember her name, a whore he'd guess. The perfect girl for Tyrion sex but no strings attached. After his 5th drink everything was a blur, he remembers karaoke, slightly. 

"I think that's where 'he's a jolly good fellow' came from" he smirks laughing slightly. He was texting someone last night. Dread filled him. Please do not be Cersei... Please seven do not let it be Cersei. He looks around for his phone. It's in the living room. Fuck. He sighs and looks at the ceiling, counting the spirals as he does every night, there were 37 in this quarter of the room, 268 all together. He felt Brienne stir and he looks down, she was blinking awake yawning quietly. He strokes the top of her hand with his thumb. 

"Morning sunshine" he smiles, hiding the wince. She shot bolt upright. 

"What time is it?" He shrugged. 

"My phone is in the living room" she rolled her eyes heavily at him 

"Seriously Jaime, you don't have a clock in your room?" She sighs and gets up to grab his phone. She comes back in about half a minute later. "You have a text from Tyrion, no make that 3 texts and one from Dominoes pizza" she laughed at the last one. "You are so popular Jaime, your brother and dominoes" he laughed and grabbed his phone off her. 

Tyrion (2:45 pm): Hey Jaime, I don't no about u but I feel terrible. How'd it go last nite? I hope u didn't get a punch. Txt me wen ur up. 

Tyrion (4:23 pm): your still not up? Wow I forgot how pitiful ur alcohol intake was lol. Anyway hope ur up soon, u need 2 tell me how it went with Brienne. 

Tyrion (6:34pm): u r 1 lazy shit Jaime, u need 2 get up, I am gonna drop round for a bit at about 7:30 see u then 

Jaime laughs, Tyrion was a lazy texter. Dominoes was telling him tomorrow is 2 for 1 Tuesday. He casts his memory back to last night was he with Brienne? And what did tyrion mean "how'd it go last night?" He looked at Brienne 

"We're you there last night? Or did I come to yours?" He asks sheepishly. She looks at him incredulously. 

"You seriously don't remember?" She looked almost hurt. Almost. Shit. They had slept together hadn't they? Shit. Shit on it. He rambled 

"Look Brienne I am so sorry... I mean I'm not sorry we had sex... I'm sorry I don't remember it's not like I don't want to have sex with you it's just that I'd like to remember it and I don't want to... Brienne?" She was looking at him with half amusement and half confusion. 

"What the fuck are you on about? We didn't sleep together!" She started laughing again shaking her head. "I have more pride than that" he smiled sheepishly. 

"I er... " he stuttered for words. He shook his head "what did you mean? 'You don't remember?'?" She smirked, instead of answering his question she asked one of her own. 

"What was that about wanting to have sex with me?" Even in the dark he could see the scarlet blush that dominated her face, but her voice was humourful. His turn to blush. 

"I... Ah..." Back to the stuttering again "I just ah... Like you... Quiet a lot... Actually... I have... For a while..." He bit the inside of his lip watching her face for any negative response. She just stared at him. She moves closer to him, putting her hand on his chest, bringing her mouth down onto his kissing him slowly, carefully. He was stunned, but quickly recovered. He reached further, Deeping the kiss, wanting her all but also knowing he did not want to scare her. She accepted, opening her mouth for him to explore. They sat there for over 20 minutes kissing, exploring each other, with there tongues and mouths. Just as it seemed Brienne had relaxed there was a loud pounding at the door. Jaime almost growled 

"I will burn, boil and flay the person at that fucking door! He shouted, Brienne just laughs. He storms over to the door and yanks it open with full force. It was Tyrion. As he had promised he was here at 7:30 with a bottle of vodka, tomato juice, Tabasco and wostershire sauce. 

"You have to supply the celery" he quipped, before noticing the look of aggression on Jaime's face. "What's the matter brother?" He asked sweetly, if not slightly sarcastic. 

"I'm kinda in the middle of something here" he forced through his gritted teeth. Tyrion just laughed. 

"Oh well, my interruption will have to be tolerated... How did it go with Brienne last night? I only know up until you started shouting that you loved her" he chuckled at the thought "Have you two been in contact today?" He curiously poked. Jaime sighed and nodded 

"Yes, that's kinda why I need you to leave..." He muttered. Tyrions face lit up 

"Finally!" He laughs out loud "Oh I shall leave right now! I don't want to interrupt" Jaime hears Brienne open his bedroom door. 

"No it's okay Tyrion, stay. Nothing was going to happen " she shot Jaime a glance. Tyrion grinned throwing his vodka back down 

"Oh good... Now tell me the story!" He grinned pouring everyone neat vodka. Jaime scowled at him, Tyrion shrugged. 

"Hair of the dog"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes 4x37 is 268 ;) lol and sorry if you wanted smut lol I cannot write it xD thanks for reading this chapter is dedicated to Lady_Blade_WarAngel who has read and commented on every single one of my fanfictions :)


	4. Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Jaime and Brienne finally come to terms with there affections, and then take action on them, an old mistake is brought up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how long my story is going to be xD It started out as a 1 chapter thing... It turned a 4 (so far) I hopeyour enjoying it xD

A long time ago, Jaime had been a stupid, reckless moron. He had fallen in love with a not only evil women, but also his sister, he had fathered 3 children, none of which knew who he was. She had spun him around her little finger and pinned him there while he fell desperately in love with her. They had been 2 halves of a whole and he was completely devoted to her in every way. But she wasn't always. After she had married Robert Baratheon instead of him, but she had told him "I need to throw them off our scent, it will be always you Jaime" but it wasn't. He had walked in on her fucking Osney Kettleback. 

He had been going up to her room to give here these Tiger Lillies he had found growing. He had a key of his pon, admittedly one that Cersei didn't know about, but he wanted to surprise her. He crept up stairs, but he could here muffled moans and grunts. Not wanting to suspect the worst he continued imaging she was excercising. He crept ever so closely and opened the door with a push, going to offer help. But as he walked in Osney Kettleback was, ironically, on his back while his sister... He had growled as Cersei had screamed at him ("JAIME! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!") he threw the tiger Lillies in her face and stormed out. That was when he met Brienne. 

He had slammed the door of her apartment building, had stormed right out into the pavement and collided with a huge beast of a women. He glared up at her with the fury of a daemon and insulted her in his absolute anger. ("What the fuck are you? Some ogre giant crossbreed?") she had almost snarled at him, grabbing him by the neck and forcing him against a wall 

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Just because you have a pretty face does that mean you have the right to insult me like that?" She had pulled him towards her then pushed him back into the wall. He felt his life flash before his eyes. But then he started crying. Like a little girl. He told her everything. Some stranger who still had him pinned against the wall. She listened and finally let him go, he slid down the wall and she sat next to him. He had lent his head on her while she called a taxi. She put him into a taxi set for his brothers house, as he didn't want to be alone, and said farewell to him. About a month after he had blocked this from his mind and had drunk himself into the oblivion. He drunk and slept. He was wasted everyday and never went into work. After he gained a PA he just let her do all the work, she seemed to like it anyway. But when he came in one day to announce his departure his PA once again dragged him by his shirt into his office and shouted at him until he concented to stay. She invaded his life, never let him drink more than two pints a day of weak cider or lager and forced him to get up to work. He didn't even remember this wench who had helped him that first day, but she remembered him. \--------------------------------------------------------*******************------------------------------------------------------------ 

Damn Monday's. Tyrion had stayed on the couch, after they all had a few Bloody Mary's Brienne went home. He didn't want her to leave, but she had to, for work. Damn Monday's. He sighed realising it was actually Tuesday tomorrow. But he didn't care. Monday's were shit. He had had a shower, brushed his teeth and made himself presentable and had gone to settled down to sleep. 

But of course he couldn't. Brienne filled his mind like water fills a cup, completely. That's all he could think of was her. He moaned when the second hour went by, damn it. It's officially too late to have a normal nights sleep. But he stayed in bed anyway. He tossed and turned, tried sleeping in every position he could think of. When in one rather perculiar position Jaime caught the scent of Brienne on his blanket. He straightened out, pulling the piece of blanket towards him, hugging himself around it, burying his nose into the strongest bit and falling asleep almost instantly. 

\--------------------------------------------------------*******************------------------------------------------------------------ 

There was a loud banging at his door. Shit have I missed work again? He shot up, checking his phone. No it was 6 in the morning... He wasn't meant to be up for another half hour. He stood up and opened the door. It was Brienne. She smiled oh so sweetly at him, looking shy but also happy. He grinned full on at her, grabbing her towards him and burying himself deep within her smell... And neck. She chuckled and hugged him back, stroking his hair as she did. 

"Sorry I came so early... I just couldn't wait..." She tailed off with a blush. He grinned again kissing her all over where the blush had appeared and then as it spread he followed it down her neck. She laughed "So I guess your ok with it then?" He chuckled into her neck. 

"Of course I am ok with it, you are..." He sighed happily and kept her close to his chest. She grinned and laughed, pushing him away slightly. 

"You haven't even closed the door yet mister" she smiled. He laughed, forgetting all about it in the rush of his emotions. He quickly closed the door and went back to her, he looked deeply into her eyes, then stroked her cheek softly. He kissed her softly, showing her everything he had wanted to tell her for ages now. She smiled, deepening the kiss this time exploring his mouth with her tongue. He pulled back, looking into her eyes again. 

"I love you Brienne... I have loved you since that first time you woke me up at 5 in the morning with coffee and my favourite bagel to make sure I got dressed" he smiled as she seemed stuck with emotion. 

"I love you too Jaime, I think I loved you the first time we met" she wrapped her hands around his waist. He chuckled, kissing her once more. Brienne then burst out laughing. Jaime looked at her confused. 

"What?" Looking at her, she shook her head, pulling her phone out of her pocket, flicking onto something then passing him her phone. He took it. It was his texts. He started to read them, slowly. His dyslexia made it very hard to read these messed up texts, he sighed and passed them back. 

"I can't read it sweetie, it's too jumbled up" she grins and starts to read out the texts, each one he gets redder and redder until he is even more red than her. "Oh my god, I told you? I actually went and told you... Oh damn that little cretin..." He burst out laughing, still red. "I'm sorry you had to hear it that way..." He shuck his head. She grinned at him 

"I think it turned out the best way it could of." The fact you told me when you were drunk made me sure you weren't just joking when you told me you liked me... That it was real..." She smiled softly, Crimson dotted over her cheeks. He smiled, kissing her again. 

"Why anyone would joke to you about liking you... You are the most beautiful... Brienne are you okay?" She had smiled sadly, pushed away from him and sat on his sofa, he looked at her, worried he had hurt her feelings. "Brienne..." She looked away from him, lifting her hands up to her eyes. 

"People do joke... About liking me... I'm not exactly the best catch am I" she snorted in a self depreciating way, Jaime looked hurt for her, about to say otherwise but she interrupted him. "No Jaime I am not... Just look at me. She sobbed silently. "When I was in college, freshman year I had a no friends, I was a loner and was ridiculed daily. But then all of the sudden about 10 college boys from the year above started being really nice to me, getting me flowers, chocolates, offering to help me with my assessments. I was wary but I thought oh maybe the gods are happy with me. There was one lad inperticular, Hyle Hunt, who was the nicest, he treated me like I was a beautiful model. He then led me behind the Annex Building, and started to kiss me..." Jaime dug his fingernails into his hands, but whether it was out of anger or jealously he didn't know. "At first I didn't mind, I was a bit shocked of course, but then his hand went down my pants and I slapped him... Hard... I drew blood. He looked at me and groaned 'so close...' And that's when I turned around to see Red Ron Connington and his goons filming me and Hyle... That's when it hit me. This was a joke. But it was worst than that. I found out from Renly that a group of lads had a bet on who could take my virginity first..." She trailed off, looking down at the ground, the tears heavy in her voice. Jaime was livid. He had his fingernails so deep into his skin he drew blood, his face was red and his teeth were to the point of shattering he was gritting them that hard. Brienne was still looking at the floor, wiping her face every now and again. He growled, almost lion like. 

"Where does he live?" Brienne looks up, her eyes red with tears but wide with surprise at his anger. 

"What do you mean?" She studied his posture 

"Where does he live?" He repeated. She bit her lip and sighed 

"He lives somewhere in Prestwich" he nods, grabs his coat, kisses her cheek and pulls the door open. 

"Jaime? What are you going to do Jamie?" He growls, looking at her 

"I'm gonna make him wish he was never born"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for getting to the end of it haha <3 comments and kudos are love :) your all awesome


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